Derry left a deep impression on me. More so than my previous experiences of Belfast and South Armagh, even Crossmaglen. I did quite a bit of searching on the web and have compiled a few articles on my website, along with all the pictures I took in Derry.

 

Having watched the film "Michael Collins" soon after coming back, I did get round to watching the film version of Bloody Sunday recently and then last week saw a documentary on N I in the seventies, which centred on Derry.

 

"Michael Collins" shocked me in terms of the wickedness perpetrated by the British. All done in that sense of being "gentlemen" and "playing by the rules". I hadn't realised how we sent Northern Irish protestants to Dublin to run affairs, nor how much disorganisation and disagreement there was within the Republican movement. The Final horror of seeing the newly formed Irish Army firing on their own dissidents in the Post Office siege was just awful.

 

"Bloody Sunday" was technically good in that they were able to make you feel that you were looking at Derry as it was in '72 in terms of street layout, even though most of the area has of course been rebuilt. It portrayed the situation in a way which I was left feeling was probably accurate. The frustration and injustice felt by both the community and the armed forces. The wickedness of internment, itself borne of frustration on the part of the authorities. The repression of the Catholic community. The desire to march in peaceful protest, even in the face of it being deemed illegal. Then the small IRA element that wanted to use it to get at the British forces and in turn the English Officers who saw it as an opportunity to go in and retake the Bogside. The provocation of have the paras there. A clear sign of pre-planning rather than a response on the day. The feelings on all sides were well portrayed. The impossibility of compromise or agreement. The hopelessness. The clear indiscipline on the part of the Paras. The sense of it becoming a shooting gallery; an "unforgivable" massacre.

 

The documentary was much stronger, mainly through film footage, on what to English eyes was the intolerable situation of having masked gunmen controlling the streets of a "British City". It would not be tolerated in Manchester or Liverpool, so why Derry? But as it were, a British City but an Irish town

 

Then there were the high numbers of British soldiers killed, many more than I remember. Thugs free to execute or knee-cap as they saw fit? The desire on both sides for revenge, to set the record straight. Just left with a feeling of desperation.

 

We have had a tough time these last few weeks. Part of that I think has been the deep sense of sorrow/hopelessness that lingers from Derry and Ireland generally. How can we move on from the past?

I have become very aware of my own inability to forgive someone who I believe to have disagreed with me, misunderstood me, misrepresented me, told untruths about me and finally betrayed me. It is a key issue. That is the core of all our troubles! Elevation and protection of Self.  Desire for control.  Inability to see another's point of view.  Inability to accept difference. Finally the inability to genuinely die to self; lay down one's own desires; ultimately be killed rather than kill.

"Love your enemies! Do good to those who persecute you" 

Ouch! Yet He did exactly that.

 

Then I sit in prayer meetings and hear nice people pray for "a return to those lovely days when Britain was a Christian country run on Christian values" - and I ask myself "When was that then?"   - 

 

The 50's? 60's? 70's? - surely not!

? The war years? when we were bombing Dresden, Düsseldorf, Hamburg, Berlin and the other umpteen cities that we flattened?

? The First World War - with its "Glorious Dead"? !

? Under Queen Victoria? - when we were enslaving and exploiting and stealing the wealth of the nations?

? Under William of Orange?

? Under Cromwell? Elizabeth? Henry?

 

WHEN then?