You really have to know me to understand this.

If you don't the humour will be lost on you and you may even be offended. ( Now they'll read! )

Like you I lost count a long time ago of the number of people who have asked me "What Church do you go to?" or "Which Church do you attend ?"

It's usually the first one they ask when you are introduced.

Not quite as implicitly binding as "Which Church are you members of ?" ( that'll tell you something about the questioner's theology ) 

We are somehow programmed to ask it.

Is it habit?

Is it what we are taught to ask?

Is it the right question?

What else could you ask?

If like me you are not so enamoured with local congregational expression of the body of Christ we really need to answer that one.

Penny and I have lived in Reading for the best part of thirty years.

We have made many friends in that time through various means and channels.

We have been in the same local congregation, through its evolution, for most of that time,

However, many of our friends have migrated elsewhere, even to the extent of starting their own "churches".

First up!

My theology tells me that there is only One Church in Reading and being a Christian makes me part of that. 

I can't opt in, I can't opt out.  It came with the package. 

So the question isn't asking as it were "Do you like ice-cream?" but rather "What flavour ice cream do you like?" 

It's a little like dogs sniffing each other. 

If I find out which type of church you go to I can make a lot of assumptions about you and short circuit a load of theological questions and so get on with a conversation - or not!

Mind you, answering St. Somebody's or Suchandsuch Baptist Church is helpful in putting people at their ease.  

Replying, "I'm a member of Disparate Community Church" can tell the discerning something, 

as can "I go to Outsiders Fellowship".  

They were clearly both created at a certain time and will of course most likely be led by disaffected ex-members of St. Somebody's and Suchandsuch Baptist. the first of course had moved on from its original name of "Disparate Fellowship"

"Great Balls of Fire and Wind Instruments" will be an African Church.

Then of course, if its a relatively new congregation, then it will be more likely "Meanderers",  "Rainbowtrout" or  "Wellsprung"

To be serious for a moment.  (that's the longest you're gonna get)

We currently find ourselves both between congregations and in two at the same time.  How does that work? 

Well neither Penny nor I have "committed" to new congregations since leaving our old one.

But at the same time we've both begun "going" to two different ones.

Mine 'cos I like the style of worship, teaching and length of service ( there you go, just when you thought they didn't matter to me)

Penny's because our foster daughter wants to go there and its Anglican so its safe for Social Services!

"Committed" - now there's a word to wrestle with!

What does it mean?

Local congregations to me are rather like supermarkets and corner shops.  They provide a service. Some are big, some are small.  Some are nationwide, even multinational chains. They each have products which maybe they've specialised in but offer a wide range.  They package their goods differently.  But fundamentally they are all touting for your business.  They are in competition.  They need the turnover - not of people but of tithe. 

Thus if there are better deals on offer elsewhere then the customers will switch their loyalty. 

Jesus is never going to say "Well done good and faithful servant, you always shopped at Sainsbury's", 

(although he may make similar comments related to "Fair Traded Goods"!)

Equally he ain't gonna dis you for always attending a Baptist Church rather than the one true church descended from Peter (?)

Now I say that to provoke, since how do you choose between Sainsbury's, Tescos and Asda.  Prices?  Layout?  Aisle wide?  Vestment colour?

No you attend the "church" which best suits you; that sings your sort of songs; which "preaches the word"; is "sound"; is "lively" ................ etc.

"They" keep telling me that being in a local congregation brings protection, life, teaching and lots of spiritual goodies.  

Frankly that isn't our experience. 

What we've found is that "church" demands, drains and saps you. 

As a friend once said, "I can guarantee that I will come out feeling worse than when I went in." 

and 3 hours short of a Sabbath rest.

But it isn't just a case of going on a Sunday, that's just for starters.

Now there's no bitterness in what I've just said, simply fact, we hold no grudges. 

( I can hear pastors everywhere saying, "Hmmmm, yeah, right! " )  :)

But really. Institutions are simply like that. 

Organisations, however well-meaningly established just have a habit of doing that to the people they were ostensibly set up to serve.

It became silly a year or so ago that not only were we finding that most of the people who really showed interest in us and supported us went to churches other than the one we were attending, indeed of course many didn't even live in Reading.  

Meanwhile our "own church" were restructuring to such an extent that we were about to be asked to make a whole new set of close friends, some for me and different ones for Penny.   Friends indeed of people who I wouldn't necessarily want to be friends with and with whom I wouldn't ever share the really important stuff. So I'd have to do that where I was doing it already. So what was this new group for? How bizarre was that becoming?  

By then we had the Boiler Room team being for us in effect another "home group" in that you shared to a certain depth what was going on in your life.  Indeed it was the team that "was what was going on in our lives".

Over the years we'd been through a number of restructures at church based on the argument that some home groups weren't working well and needed mixing up a bit. So you either lose friends to make room for new ones, or stretch yourself to accommodate more.

So today we now find ourselves with a network of friends not just in Reading but across the UK and beyond.  One of our support group in fact lives in Ireland. Another good friend with whom I "Skype" regularly, trust and therefore can be very honest with, lives in Canada. It is an odd world we live in. But it is an amazing fact that one can now speak into people's lives ( and be spoken into ) even though they live hundred's of miles away.

"Where do you worship then?"

Penny can't sing. 

Ironic that God should pair us up! 

But it means that she has never enjoyed what is called corporate worship.

Imagine that - going to church Sunday by Sunday and putting yourself through the pain of fearing you might be heard.

Again this is a misunderstanding of what worship is. 

We have reduced the word down to meaning the exercise of congregational singing of religious words with feeling.

I really don't need to say that worship is more than that, its about life rather than meetings.

For myself. I love singing, harmonising, playing Bass or guitar - so give me the cliché every time. Its simpler!

"Where do you get your teaching?"

Can you think of any other institution which has in-service training every single week?

You wouldn't tolerate it at work?

Jesus seems to have given minimal training, often leaving more questions than answers.

His system was to send his disciples out and let them learn as they went.

Mind you - they prayed for the sick and they got better - always a good opener when you want an audience to take you seriously.

Seriously though, where do I get my teaching? 

I've learnt a lot  through Books, Tapes, CD's, occasional Conferences and surprisingly for Protestants out there - reading the scriptures!

But

I think I can honestly say that I spent years getting teaching in church before anyone pointed out that its all about Justice, Righteousness, Compassion, Love, Kindness, Caring for real people. 

Even then I've seen people who say these things are so important who still put the institution before the people.

Its guys like Jim McConnell of FAITH who showed me that Jesus ain't too impressed with what you think you believe or how long your prayers are!

The Gospel of course is desperately simple thank God.

If you want an in depth look at these issues try reading : http://www.angelfire.com/in/HisName/customcom.html 

I wish I'd got there first!